Canada, you're SOOO dramatic (Jim)

Alright, I guess I haven't posted in awhile.  There are multiple reasons for this, but since I'm not big on accountability, I'm pretty much just going to blame Canada.

Or if you prefer

First of all, let's get one thing clear.  Collectively, Canada sucks at the internet.  I'm sure there are perfectly good reasons why I shouldn't have access to blazing fast, free Wi-Fi in an island province whose biggest concern is their hyper-abundant moose population, but dammit I am an entitled American.  Even when we THINK we have access to the internet, it typically fades in and out with infuriating randomness and makes it very difficult to actually accomplish anything important, like trying to find a gif of the Buttfumble because it has been too long since I had seen it last.



This happened.  And we must never forget.  Not even in Canada

Anyway, the last month or so has truly taught us that Canada is just damn dramatic.  All 'ooh look at me' and stuff.  Let's start with New Brunswick.  I bet you don't know anything about New Brunswick, do you?  Probably didn't even know it was a place, but it is.  Our camper will remember it as the place where the road signs have insufficient clearance for parking. 

10 minutes after crossing the border.  This was louder than it looks.

But mostly New Brunswick makes a real big deal about having the 'highest tides in the world.'  Of course, you have to sit and stare at the same spot over the course of eight hours to see this, but I guess it's not a bad way to spend the day.

 

Fundy National Park - miles of cliff top trails with coastal views

And then there is Nova Scotia.  (Fun fact - that's Latin for, New Scotia).  Did you know that Halifax was the site of the largest man made explosion in history prior to the Manhattan Project?  Well, the Drama Queen City will not let you forget.  2000 PEOPLE DIED IN 1917 WHEN TWO BOATS RAN INTO EACH OTHER IN THE HARBOR! 

Alright, who gave Canada boats?  And something explosive?

And if that wasn't enough, there is Taylor Head - a provincial park 5km off the 'highway' we learned about just by striking up a conversation with some locals at a grocery store.  Turns out this is a place with miles of white sandy beaches, coastal trails, crystal clear water, hardly any other people and if you are cheeky enough to ask a cop if you can camp here (literally beside the "no camping" sign) he will say "Sure eh, but watch out for the moose when you get to Newfoundland."

Taylor Head beach showing off.  No camping, unless, of course you would like to, eh?

But where Nova Scotia truly starts to get all dramatic is when you get to the northern region of Cape Breton Island.  What an attention whore.  The Cape Breton Highlands National Park is a place that is hard to ignore - unless you have no interest in mountains looming over the sea with pods of whales breaching in the distance.  From the trails or the road, take your pick.  The Cabot Trail is a 180 mile road that follows the circumference of the island and is full of shit like this:

Lindsay showering Cape Breton with attention

But the coup de grace for this drama queen province is when you least expect it - when you find a driveway to park in near the ferry expecting only a place to crash but instead consume sausage, beers, and single malt scotch offered by your host before dragging yourself up to sleep here:

 

This is bullshit

Obviously, we were pretty glad to be rid of this part of Canada and head off to our next destination: Newfoundland.  We thought we would get a break from the drama, but nooooo.  Our first night off the ferry we tried to park overnight in a place with the pleasant name "Wreckhouse" - seemed to us a gorgeous spot with mountain and sea views,  It was a BIT breezy perhaps.  After making dinner and settling in, there came a tapping as of someone gently knock, knocking at our camper door.  And who was it?  Some needy local, stopping by just to make sure we knew that this spot was famous for high wind gusts that blow over train cars and tractor trailers.  Could that be why no one else was parked here?  Well, we left the spot just so he wouldn't come back all smarmy after our truck was tipped over at 3 AM.

If it was called "Wrecktruck" we might have known better

We were pretty sick of all this drama by now as you can imagine, so we thought we would escape it a bit by spending some time in the woods.  Gros Morne National Park can't be too bad, right?  Wrong.  Day 1

Ancient chunk of earth mantle on the left, the Appalachian mountains on the right. 
Can't just give us the Appalachians, huh Canada?

Night 1

You're an asshole

Well, how about some nice walking in a pasture on our second day.  That can't be too dramatic, can it?  Green Gardens it is!

You're not supposed to put wildflower meadows next to ocean side cliffs and sea stacks, Canada

Fine, let's just climb the park's biggest mountain and get it over with.  It's only like 800 meters, and I'm no conversion expert but I'm pretty sure that is not that high of a mountain.  Can't be that big of a deal.

That's not even really a trail

North American isn't even supposed to HAVE Fjords

Really?  An 800 meter high lake with a waterfall? 

Needless to say, we were ready to get the hell away from this dramatic bitch and find ourselves a nice simple spot.  Like a parking lot, at the extreme northern tip of the island in St. Anthony (side note to Canada - not every fucking town has to be "Saint" something.  Jesus.).  This one is called Fishing Point, just going to chill out here for a bit.  IS THAT A GODDAMN HUMPBACK WHALE?

That white dot is the distinctive flipper.  It was rolling around and showing off,
not content to just do under water whale stuff. 

I suppose that is an 800 pound polar bear.  Turns out they swim here from Labrador in the winter - some nice lady had this outside of her kitchen window a couple of years ago.  Can you imagine if polar bears swam to your kitchen?

Fun fact - this guy died of a heart attack.  They shot it four times before approaching just to make sure anyway.

I'm sorry, is that a litter of frolicking fox kits?

Yeah, it is.  Cup stealing fox kits.

So as you can imagine, after dealing with this dramatic bullshit for weeks, we are getting pretty pissed with Canada.  I mean, there was this crap, and so much more that I do not have the heart to relate.  Everywhere we look, drama drama drama.  How did this make us feel?  Well, angry as you can imagine.  I will not even try to describe how angry, but pictures are worth a thousand words and this one comes the closest to the amount of rage we felt:

THE SHIRE!  She's very dangerous over short distances.

 Yeah. Viking Lindsay mad.